a cool poem...

Read as written the following poem is a sad picture of much of society today. Read in reverse, it shows the hope & power a person has to change it. Came across this recently & thought it was pretty neat. Lost Generation I realize this may be a shock, 'Happiness comes from within' is a lie, and 'Money will make me happy' So in thirty years I will tell my children they are not the most important thing in my life. My employer will know that I have my priorities straight because work is more important than family I tell you this Once upon a time Families stayed together but this will not be true in my era this is a quick fix society Experts tell me Thirty years from now I will be celebrating the 10th anniversary of my divorce I do not concede that I will live in a country of my own making In the future Environmental destruction will be the norm No longer can it be said that My peers and I care about this earth It will be evident that My generation is apathetic and lethargic It is foolish to presume that There is hope. And all of this will come true unless we choose to reverse it.

Raw...

The last couple months of my life, have been a journey of epic proportions. I can only remember one other time in my life, where I have struggled, and fought, and clawed this hard to figure out if what I believe in is the same thing as Who I believe in. I have always prayed that I would never endure heartache like that again. And I haven't for the most part. Back then, I searched the internet over to see if there was anyone else who had discovered the kind of emotional pain, that physically hurt. I didnt find any scientific proof, but I still believe it. The last few months, I have learned once again, that Who I believe in will always trump what I am going through. I've cried, I've prayed, I've fought, I almost gave up almost but between me & God, I picked up where I left off and struggled some more. My strong wall of emotions became a landslide of raw emotion. and in the raw place, my heart open and bleeding on an autopsy table of what felt like failure, God reached in. To a place that I dont think He has ever been before. I'm still struggling, I'm still confused, I'm not sure what the right way to fight is anymore It's still raw, but God is there. He's not gonna let the life drain from me as I fight. And sometimes, God doesn't just fix things for us. Sometimes He lets us live with battle scars. Not because He doesnt care, but because He wants us to remember the fight, and remind us that there are things worth fighting for. I'm still on this epic journey, but I am not alone. And I'm going to be ok. I know it.

Technology: defined by me

I have recently become annoyed. Actually not so recent, unless you call the last year recent. (Which in the grand scheme of things actually may be considered recent) So yes, I am an annoyed person. And what has caused this annoyance? Technology. They (I'm not sure who they are) say that when we die we have only used a very small percentage of our brains. We could have learned so much more, we could have created, we could have invented. We could have advanced technology. For some reason tho, it seems that every advancement in technology has a very serious repercussion. At least the technology that I use. Maybe it is just me and the fact that I allow it to overtake me. I'm not sure, but let me be more specific.

• Cell Phones. - I think this one has been the longest in the "annoy me" running. We only recently got a house phone. Before that, the only way to reach us was our cell phones. I believe it was last summer when it really started to get on my nerves. I was never unreachable. I'm eating dinner, the cell phone rings. I'm with my family, the cell phone rings. I go for a walk with my husband, the cell phone rings. I remember the day that I had had it. I wanted to let my phone at home, and go somewhere to be alone, but that starts a whole new panic line of "She's not at home, she doesn't pick up her cell phone, do you think I should call a search party?" (ok so not talking of any one person, just generalization) So after the yearning to put my cell phone through the garbage disposal, there came an epiphany. I don't have to let my cell phone annoy me! When I go to visit someone, it can stay in the car, or silent in my purse. They can leave me a message. If a life threatening situation arises I most likely cant help them anyway, and can do just as much then as I could do two hours from now when my visit is over. Next problem with cell phones is texting. Yes I text. No I do not hold full conversations through texting. No I do not rite lyke thys wen i txt. That Is My Pet Peeve. I believe text language is going to be the breakdown of intelligence in America and it is SAD!
• Facebook - this has been for a while as well. I started out on xanga way back in Feb of 05. I've had the arguments with people who think it is a waste of time or weird but then spend hours reading my posts. I've had the argument that it's not safe and some stalker is going to come kill me in my sleep. With xanga or any blog I see the danger of fakeness. Blogging gives opportunity to be any person that you want to be. And that bugs me. I resolve to be real! I've since had myspace facebook, and now this blog. Yes, technology allows me to do this, the fallback to all of these comes in the form of fakeness. Myspace - my myspace was short lived. After several random people wanted to be my friend, and several lewd comments, I decided that yes, myspace just might be pedophile heaven. Next I became one of the millions to join facebook. Now don't get me wrong, I still use facebook, but it has come withing milliseconds of it's lifespan on more than one occasion. I very quickly learned that facebook is all about friends. Sometimes I wonder if I am going to get a friend request from the cashier at the local grocery store. Cause everyone you've ever met eyes with is on there. And your neighbor just brushed his teeth and is heading to bed. Like I said I still use facebook, but my thing is more about writing, which other than one sentence updates doesn't seem to be the aim of facebook.
• Camera's - I know your probably thinking wow she is majorly messed up. She thinks cameras are evil too? No, in fact I love photography. Photography can be a beautiful expression of art. I'd love to travel the world and take pictures of everything! Throughout High School, I was know to always have my camera in hand. On field trips I would go through two films. On Chorus tour I could double that. It's all well and good. Maybe a bit excessive. I've recently begun wondering how many memories I missed making, because I was watching memories being made. I want to remember things not because I took a picture of them, but because I participated in them. Sometimes you can do both, but when I cant, I hope I set the camera down, and join in.
• Internet, Movies, Mp3's even books. I guess what I've realized even more so recently is that life is short. Live it with others, don't seclude yourself with technology. Sit around a campfire & sing songs with friends. Don't look up a campfire clip on YouTube.

When I was younger I used to peruse the obituaries for people my age that had died. I wanted to read about their lives, and imagine what they could have done if they lived. I know, morbid right? It's a practice I've pretty much given up. Instead when I flip through the pages, and see the obituaries, I think of things that I can add to my list of "40 things to do before I'm 40", I think of ways that I want to live my life.

Moral of the story. If you cant reach me on my cell phone, I might be visiting with a dear friend that I did NOT meet on facebook.

Primal: The quest for the lost soul of Christianity

I love reading. I love learning. I love learning by reading. I love Mark Batterson's new book titled Primal. There are few books that I remember reading that have had the power to impact me to such depths. To sit and read, but wanting to jump and do. To read a page, and realize 15 minutes later you are still on that page, because it has caused you to think and explore what those ideas look like in 3D life. This book sent me on a journey. One that I hope I stay on for the rest of my life. It helped me to explore what it means in my life, to love God truly with all my heart soul mind and strength. It renewed my passion for fighting for what is right, for getting close enought to alow my heart to break for the things that break God's heart, for loving with all that I have in me, for discovering all that there is to discover, and to give everything I have, to everything I do. Sorry, I know that is one long sentance & probably not "legal") This book has changed my mindset, and even more it has changed my heart-set. I challenge you to put this book at the top of your reading list for 2010. Read it. Do it. Go back to that Primal place. It's worth it.

As Mark writes, “Is there a place in your past where you met God and God met you? A place where your heart broke for the things that break the heart of God? Maybe it was a sermon that became more than a sermon. Maybe it was a mission trip or retreat. Maybe it was a vow you made at an altar. In that moment, God birthed something supernatural in your spirit. You knew you’d never be the same again. My prayer is that this book would take you back to that burning bush—and reignite a primal faith.”

This book was provided for review by Waterbrook Multnomah. Go order yours today at http://waterbrookmultnomah.com/results.php

my dad....my hero

There is this unexplainable bond between a dad and his daughters....

at least there is with my dad and this particular daughter.

My dad has always been one of the strongest men I know.

He was my first knight in shining armor.

He held the hose and sprayed cold water on my foot when i dropped a brick on it. He asked me if I could wiggle my toes. I could, so he told me it's probably not broken and if I lay on the sofa a little bit, it will feel better soon.

He had the heaviest baseball bat I ever used. He used to hit balls out to my sisters in the evenings, and my goal was to one day be able to hit as far as he did. When I hit my first home run way out into center field, he was the first one I thought of.

He tried to tell me what x-rays are like the first time we thought I broke my ankle. (yes there were several times x-rays were needed.)

He grabbed me from the table and sat me in the sink of cold water, when hot gravy got spilled on me.

He took me to the ER when a dizzy spell and a conk on the head made me forget what I had done the last 2 days.

He taught me to parallel park, and apparently he taught me well. I passed my drivers test.

He went with me when I bought my car.

He has been there through sprains & strains & knee surgeries & heart issues. He taught me to explore, to figure things out, and to think for myself.

Yesterday my dad went for a stress test. They discovered that sometime in the recent past, my dad had a heart attack, and the left ventricle is only functioning at 17%.

So he is scheduled for a heart catherization, and more tests and doctor visits.

I wish I could rescue him like he has rescued me so many times.

I wish I could tell him to wiggle his toes and lie down a little and it will be OK.

But it doesn't work that way.

So, I'm putting my hero in the the capable hands of The Hero.

and it's all gonna be OK

Book Reviews

More Than a Match by Michael & Amy Smalley

The 5 keys to compatibility for life.

Although this book seems to be geared more for a single person, or couples about to embark into a marriage, it holds a lot of useful information for me as a married person as well.

Although everything changes when you get married, don’t expect your partner to be changed. Marriage doesn’t alleviate prior relationship glitches. Marriage is not a fairy tale. These are just a few things I picked up from this book.

Michael & Amy use their many years as counselors, as well as instances from their own lives to bring out key points of compatibility in relationships. They show ways to work through conflicts that arise, and keep on the path to that fantastic marriage that you have always dreamed of having. What I love the most is that they underscore that all the compatibility issues can be overcome by a strong commitment to God and to each other. And their marriage is a testament to that fact.

99 Ways To Increase Your Income by Frank Martin

They say the big things come in small packages. The same is true for this little book. Only 102 pages & 7 chapters long, but it is filled and overflowing with a wealth of ideas.

Want to make a little spending money? Maybe you would like to rake in a substantial extra income, or need a little guidance on how to make your money grow. Frank Martin gives plenty of ways for all of those options. The great thing is they are simple ideas that don’t take a genius to figure out how to follow. I’ve tried a few of them, and they work!

Take a little time to pick it up and read it, and then follow through. With the help of this little book, you can earn some extra cash, and make your money work for you!

If you would like to add these books to your library, head on over to http://www.waterbrookmultnomah.com/

These books were provided for review by Waterbrook Multnomah

Have Your way - Britt Nicole

Feels like I’ve been here forever Why cant You just intervene Do you see the tears keep falling And I’m falling apart at the seams But You never said the road would be easy But You said that You would never leave. And You never promised that this life wasn’t hard But You said that You’d take care of me. So I’ll stop searching for the answers I’ll stop praying for an escape And I’ll trust You God, with where I am And believe that You will have Your way Just have Your way Just have Your way When my friends & my family have left me And I feel so ashamed and so cold Remind me You take broken things And turn them into beautiful So I’ll stop searching for the answers I’ll stop praying for an escape And I’ll trust You God, with where I am And believe that You will have Your way Just have Your way Just have Your way Even if my dreams have died And even if I don’t survive I’ll still worship you with all my life So I’ll stop searching for the answers I’ll stop praying for an escape And I’ll trust You God, with where I am And believe that You will have Your way Just have Your way Just have Your way I know you will I wont forget You love me Have Your way. The song has struck a chord in my heart the past couple weeks. It amazes me how song lyrics can be so powerful. But then I guess words in general can do that. They can encourage, upbuild, bring comfort, or they can cause a death blow in one fell swoop. I need to make sure I choose my words carefully every time I open my mouth.