More precious than yesterday...

Today my little girl is 3 months, one day. That one day seems really monumental for me right now. You see, last night we had a scare. Now I know that all parents have scares. But I’m a first time parent, and this was a scarier scare than we’ve had before.
C was in bed sleeping, I had put her to bed as well. I was out finishing up a few things before bed. It was late. I should have been in bed sleeping, but I wasn’t. I checked on her, pulled the covers away from her face and I crawled in my bed and snuggled down into the covers, praying that she would sleep all night again. I hadn’t more than closed my eyes, when I heard her making “not breathing sounds” like when you get the breath knocked out of you.
I flew out of bed, in the process waking up C, grabbed her out of her bassinet, tried to wake  her, blew in her face till she finally started breathing again. Sleeping the whole time…when she woke up from us exclaiming and turning on the light, she just looked at us like what are you doing up? before snuggling in my arms and returning to sleep.
As I lay there, alert to every move and noise she made, I kept running scenarios of what could have happened. Had I been in bed sleeping, I most likely would not have heard her. Worst cases, flashed through my mind, until it hit me.
The things that could  have happened……….didn’t.
As I began thinking of the huge back story (extending back several years) to why I went to bed when I did, I stood (ok lay) in awe of our Abba Father, who loves and cares for us in all things. Even when the could have happend’s; do happen. I began to realize how much I have already – at only 3 months- begun to take her for granted. And I realized once again that she is first the daughter of her Heavenly Papa, and then ours.
Early this morning, as I fed her, and rocked her back to sleep, I held her a little closer, and kissed her little head. She started with her face splitting, ear moving smiles. Her eyes were closed and she was asleep, but perhaps an angel was tickling her, ’cause God knew that was just what this mamma needed this morning.
So Is she more precious than yesterday? No not actually, my eyes have simply been opened to just how precious a gift I hold in my arms.

Bug on the Windsheild

Yes, it had been one of those days.
I woke up in the morning right on time. Twelve hours -give or take- from when I had fallen asleep. I wasn't feeling the greatest the night before, and truth be told those 12 hours didn't do much to improve the way I felt.
My contacts were all dried out from sleeping with them in.
I got my breakfast, packed my lunch & headed to work.
Despite leaving in plenty of time, after getting behind a tractor, unable to pass; I punched in at 7:32.
It was a long day.
Stress of trying to get all things on my list done.
Added pressure of last minute things to get done.
Till I looked at the clock & realized it was 5:00, and past time for me to be headed home; I was feeling the need for another 12 hour night.
Driving home i was making mental lists of all i needed to do in the evening before being able to get some sleep. I felt ever so much like a bug, and my mental list combined with my day was the windshield coming at me at 45 mph.
I was in stop & go traffic. I like that even less than following tractors. At one of the "stop" times, i saw movement in the top right corner of my windshield. And there was a little bug crawling across my windshield. I actually smiled at the irony of my previous thoughts of feeling like a bug splattered on a windshield.
I watched as he crawled ever so slowly. His antennae waving in the air. Antennae that look to be only ever so slightly attached to his body. I began to marvel at my Creator's handiwork. Thinking about the bug & how delicately he was designed, and God taking care of his every need.
The thought of God taking care of me, and knowing how many hairs are on my head, really hit home for the first time. Or at least in a way that I never thought of before.
I am a "make my world work" type of person. I have plans, I figure out what I need to do to get the results I expect. When my world doesn't work, I get stressed, I get frustrated, and often times to my shame, I only then cry out to God.
Even then it is "Lord, help me make this work" not "Lord here is the situation, I give it to You"
Amazing how sometimes all it takes is something like a bug on the windshield for God to get your attention.