Monday, May 6, 2013

More precious than yesterday...

Today my little girl is 3 months, one day. That one day seems really monumental for me right now. You see, last night we had a scare. Now I know that all parents have scares. But I’m a first time parent, and this was a scarier scare than we’ve had before.
C was in bed sleeping, I had put her to bed as well. I was out finishing up a few things before bed. It was late. I should have been in bed sleeping, but I wasn’t. I checked on her, pulled the covers away from her face and I crawled in my bed and snuggled down into the covers, praying that she would sleep all night again. I hadn’t more than closed my eyes, when I heard her making “not breathing sounds” like when you get the breath knocked out of you.
I flew out of bed, in the process waking up C, grabbed her out of her bassinet, tried to wake  her, blew in her face till she finally started breathing again. Sleeping the whole time…when she woke up from us exclaiming and turning on the light, she just looked at us like what are you doing up? before snuggling in my arms and returning to sleep.
As I lay there, alert to every move and noise she made, I kept running scenarios of what could have happened. Had I been in bed sleeping, I most likely would not have heard her. Worst cases, flashed through my mind, until it hit me.
The things that could  have happened……….didn’t.
As I began thinking of the huge back story (extending back several years) to why I went to bed when I did, I stood (ok lay) in awe of our Abba Father, who loves and cares for us in all things. Even when the could have happend’s; do happen. I began to realize how much I have already – at only 3 months- begun to take her for granted. And I realized once again that she is first the daughter of her Heavenly Papa, and then ours.
Early this morning, as I fed her, and rocked her back to sleep, I held her a little closer, and kissed her little head. She started with her face splitting, ear moving smiles. Her eyes were closed and she was asleep, but perhaps an angel was tickling her, ’cause God knew that was just what this mamma needed this morning.
So Is she more precious than yesterday? No not actually, my eyes have simply been opened to just how precious a gift I hold in my arms.