Monday, May 6, 2013

More precious than yesterday...

Today my little girl is 3 months, one day. That one day seems really monumental for me right now. You see, last night we had a scare. Now I know that all parents have scares. But I’m a first time parent, and this was a scarier scare than we’ve had before.
C was in bed sleeping, I had put her to bed as well. I was out finishing up a few things before bed. It was late. I should have been in bed sleeping, but I wasn’t. I checked on her, pulled the covers away from her face and I crawled in my bed and snuggled down into the covers, praying that she would sleep all night again. I hadn’t more than closed my eyes, when I heard her making “not breathing sounds” like when you get the breath knocked out of you.
I flew out of bed, in the process waking up C, grabbed her out of her bassinet, tried to wake  her, blew in her face till she finally started breathing again. Sleeping the whole time…when she woke up from us exclaiming and turning on the light, she just looked at us like what are you doing up? before snuggling in my arms and returning to sleep.
As I lay there, alert to every move and noise she made, I kept running scenarios of what could have happened. Had I been in bed sleeping, I most likely would not have heard her. Worst cases, flashed through my mind, until it hit me.
The things that could  have happened……….didn’t.
As I began thinking of the huge back story (extending back several years) to why I went to bed when I did, I stood (ok lay) in awe of our Abba Father, who loves and cares for us in all things. Even when the could have happend’s; do happen. I began to realize how much I have already – at only 3 months- begun to take her for granted. And I realized once again that she is first the daughter of her Heavenly Papa, and then ours.
Early this morning, as I fed her, and rocked her back to sleep, I held her a little closer, and kissed her little head. She started with her face splitting, ear moving smiles. Her eyes were closed and she was asleep, but perhaps an angel was tickling her, ’cause God knew that was just what this mamma needed this morning.
So Is she more precious than yesterday? No not actually, my eyes have simply been opened to just how precious a gift I hold in my arms.

Tuesday, March 5, 2013

Doing Dishes...

Growing up, my Mom always washed the dishes after supper. We cleared the table, swept the floor, dried the dishes & put them away. We alternated who did what, but Mom always washed the supper dishes. Perhaps it's because I never had to do them that much, or maybe because when I did have to do them it was most times Saturday and lots of mixing/baking dishes were added to it; regardless, washing dishes is one of my least favorite jobs. I can enjoy laundry, and dusting/sweeping, but washing dishes is another thing completely.
Today, as my little girl slept in the other room, I filled my dishpan with water, added some soap, and plunged my hands into the warmth & bubbles, and smiled. There was something deeply satisfying about washing dishes today. There I was, just me some soapy bubbles and the dirty dishes. I sighed one of those deep cleansing sighs, and thought "What's so bad about doing dishes?"
The past few days, my little girl has been pretty much "mommy needs to hold me all the time". I love holding her, staring into her little blue eyes, and talking to her. However, my family is soon going to put me on the show Hoarders if my house keeps looking like this. So to be able to lay her down while she slept, and do dishes, it was a welcome respite.
Maybe that is why my mom always washed the dishes? Don't know, perhaps I'll ask her.

Taking a nap on my doll bunk bed. My dad gave
this to me for one of my birthdays back in the day.
I'd love to use it to take pictures of twins someday.
As long as the twins belong to someone other than me!
She is 4 weeks old today. It's crazy. I'm hoping time slows down at some point. I feel like the days are speeding by. She is growing like a weed. Rolling from her back to her belly, ( dont most babies wait a while to do that?) talking to us, and completely wrapping herself around our hearts.

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

I'm a new person

My life has changed forever.
From my third story perch, I watched this morning as the sun tried desperately to push away the clouds & fog of night.
It's not the first time I saw a sunrise. It's not the first time that the darkness slowly gave way to day. But it was a first for me.
I'm not the same as the last time I watched the sun rise.
I'm not alone.
Nestled in the crook of my arm is this little tiny being that has bewitched me. She has completely stolen my heart. She has changed me. She has made me a mom. 
Her name is Olivia Kate.