I pray the Lord my soul to keep.
If I snore while my wife's awake.
I pray the Lord, dont let my life be at stake.
This should be C's prayer tonight...
I'm not particularly mad or annoyed at him. At least I hadn't been. He has this thing he does. You know "I'm not even really tired" then head hits pillow & he's asleep before I even finish brushing my teeth. And belive me I am not the kind of stand-in-front-of-the-sink-forever-brushing-your-teeth type of girl.
I am however the type of girl that lays in bed thinking of ways she could wake up her husband.
I feel like I'm 12 again. I feel like i did every Sunday afternoon when my sister decided to take a nap & I didn't want to. I would whine & complain that this is the only time I get to hang out with her & try to put her on a guilt trip. (yeah I did that at 12)
That's how I feel.
If I cant sleep why should he.
So my list of ways to wake him....
- I'll start out subtle. Lay on my back with my knees bent & let them "fall over" on him in my sleep....
- Flail my arms, moan & groan, pretending I am having a nightmare till he wakes up & "wake's me" from my horrible dream.
- Use my cell phone to call the house phone. Answer the house phone & say "I think you have the wrong number"
- Scream at the top of my lungs, then try to convince him he was dreaming.
- Point the laser beam out the window at the dog pen to make Jack bark. Hop back in bed, & convince Curt to go out & see what his problem is. Turn off the laser before Curt gets out there.
- Change the time on the clock, make the alarm go off & try to convince him it really is morning, it's just dark cause there is a thunderstorm brewing
- Repeat number two, adding in some kicking & punching.
- Turn his pager up the whole way & call in an emotional problem at our address. Cause that's what is gonna happen if I cant sleep soon!
And tell me why is it when I finally roll the whole way around & finally get comfortable, that he feels the urge to interrupt his snoring, roll on his side & breath on me?
Disclaimer: I do not have homicidal tendencies, am not in the practice of making crank 911 calls,, & I do love my husband dearly :)
